“Friendships that go Deeper” A Stewardship Meditation by Joseph Carroll “One who has unreliable friends soon comes to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.” Proverbs 18:24 It’s been said that Solomon was the wisest man who ever lived. Two of my favorite parts of the Old Testament, Proverbs and Ecclesiastes, are attributed to him. Wisdom combined with pragmatism. Both books offer tremendous guidance on Spiritual Friendship. Preparing this meditation, I was sure it would center on the Gospel. The example of Christ and the 12 Disciples as His spiritual friends is so powerful. But I kept being drawn back to these Proverbs. My Spiritual Friends are closer than my brothers. Don’t get me wrong. I have had good relationships with my brothers. We are close, but we are different and have different spiritual values. I have been blessed with many acquaintances and casual friends, too. We get together for sporting events or coffee or dinner and catch up on work and what’s going on with the kids and things like that. But when taking things deeper, talking about topics that get into personal areas, into my relationship with Christ and more, I need Spiritual Friends. Friends that will go there with me, and I with them. Spiritual friendships start with common values: the same faith, service to others, doing the right thing even when no one is looking, and they go deeper. They allow me to talk about my personal walk with Christ, about where I want to grow in that relationship, where I struggle and where I need help. It has been my Spiritual Friends who have helped me get through a very trying year. Men who have taken the time to call, to come by, to listen and pray for me and for my family. They have picked up the phone and listened. The call came when I needed it most. And it was unexpected. This year has been quite a doozy. By this summer, I was at my wits end. Death of my younger brother. Global pandemic. Death of my best friend’s wife. Loss of a job. Debilitating virus (shingles, not COVID-19). Death of my mother. Isolated from my faith community. Quarantined in my home. Feeling trapped and unsupported. During the summer, a friend I had not spoken to in a few months had just texted asking for my help with something. Unceremoniously, in no uncertain terms, maybe even rudely, I said no. Rather than simply snapping back, he picked up the phone and called. He apologized for an oversight. We ended up speaking for an hour. Mostly, he listened. This friend granted me the grace to listen to me talk about my year. He had no idea because I had not told him before. I had not told anyone about the totality of it all, for that matter. That call was a tipping point. I don’t like being needy and didn’t want to be a burden. It turned out, I needed the help. It had become too much to bear alone. You see, I needed a friend to help me through adversity and to stick closer than a brother. Not a casual relationship or buddy; I needed a Spiritual Friend. Christ calls us to be the church in big ways and little ways. A call to someone who you haven’t seen in months may be an answer to prayer. A personal invitation to an upcoming church service can let your friend know that they are part of a community of people, not just an email on a list. My message is simple. In your meditation ask God who you can reach out to. Pick up the phone and call. Ask how they are doing. Really doing. You don’t know what’s going on unless you ask. Don’t wait to bump into them at church. Spiritual friendships can come from the least expected places. (Epilogue) By the power of prayer, the grace of God and patience things are going well for me and my family. The shingles virus is a faded memory (I am duly vaccinated & following all precautions to avoid other viruses), I have a new job, and we have celebrated my mother and brother’s lives. And the first live service at St. David’s is just days away!)